This week’s 5 Best 5 Worst comes to you from back inside the winners’ circle, well in.

5 Best

1. Watching Phil ’45 kg ringing wet lunges’ Moore and Frewy (now sporting a Kim Jong-Un hairdo) – both cut from the same pocket dynamo cloth as Gary Moorcroft and Hayden Ballantyne – burrow, scratch, claw, tackle, scrounge and niggle their way to 60 (contested) possessions, 30 tackles and 75 centre clearances.
2. Todd spitting the dummy in response to Anton Po advising that the best advice he has ever received is “don’t pass to Todd” and attributing that advice to Dr McDreamy Brenno. It’s a miracle no one got glassed.
3. The potency of our forward line – the prospect of watching enigmas like Reidy, Skinny Jeans O’Connell, Rob Anderson and Don Quixote de Nataris combine to pile on 7 first quarter goals is getting Brunswick residents out of the communes and putting bums on seats at The Gillon #Benwho?
4. The understated standover tactics of Mad Mick Gatto. Along with the likes of Jules O’Dowd, Manisha Karunaratne and Fixie Pascoe, everyone’s favourite underworld figure continues to go about his business with little fuss and maximum efficiency. In a team full of prima donnas (Picky, Todd, Hamo, Dougy, etc.), it’s easy to overlook the quiet achievers.
5. Christopher ‘Pot shots from the peanut gallery’ Ives S.J. pulling off a logistical feat organising the best two pub pub-crawl in recent memory. Work smarter not harder boys (5 emphatic wins 1 anomaly).

5 Worst

1. The judgement of the bouncers at Bridie O’Reilly’s thinking it was ok to admit a rat pack of 15 blokes to the over 30s night after a solid session at The Grand View courtesy of Antonio the publican with the cheese cutter paddy cap #throwingiceatmusosisaprettylowactbutfunny
2. The ambos from Moonee Ponds taking industrial action whilst Tim ‘The Bearded Stranger’ Wright lay motionless on the ground with a suspected broken collar bone, concussion and neck beard
3. The shoulder of Bombardier Dash 8 Fog giving up on the human battering ram at half time
4. Picky thrice getting sold candy by one of the Irish kents from Kew (at least it wasn’t the blonde douche who lacks integrity and good bloke skills)
5. La Trobe still on the peptides pumping blokes. They’ll get what’s coming.