“They say the darkest hour is just before dawn.”

– Stanley Brothers bluegrass gospel song and film character Harvey Dent in The Dark Knight

5 Best:

1. Steve ‘archetypal mongrel full buck’ Clinch and Ben ‘the Mark Waugh of amateur footy’ O’Halloran playing blinders at full buck and on the wing respectively; two shining lights on an otherwise bleak evening for the good guys
2. Po ‘I will not call you sir’ Hipsley coolly slotting one home in Q3 in front of his expecting fans on the hill. One cannot help but wonder what this kid could have been had he been brought up in a right thinking state.
3. The considered and passionate off-field stewardship of supercoach Treppo ensuring that all our ducks are in order heading into the crucial knock out prelim vs MHSOB or Kew
4. Feeling a bit like a professional footballer due to the combination of:
   1. The presence of gate stewards wearing VAFA livery
   2. The requirement to pay an entry fee #valueformoneyatfivedollars
   3. Large scoreboard
   4. Friday night under lights
   5. The availability of two strappers
   6. Natural amphitheatre layout of Elsternwick Park
5. Clubbies legends coming out to support us including:
   1. Tim Newton – A fierce competitor and prolific power forward with conservative views and a latent capacity to commit acts of unspeakable unsportsmanlike conduct
   2. Myles Tehan – A tall skinny small forward with a knack for freakish goals and moving oratory skills. Controversially named in the 2010 VAFA clubbies team of the year ahead of blokes like Newta
   3. Damien Joyce – Like all Joyces, a lumbering ruckman big friendly giant type of footballer
   4. Dennis Fogarty – Like all Fogarties, a 100+ game courageous diminutive on-baller with a hereditary inspirational complete disregard for his personal safety

5 Worst:

1. Our disappointing second quarter and haphazard pre-game preparation
2. Dan ‘Wests v Roosters 2010 Qualifying Final’ Kratochvil having to contend with the Elsternwick mud on laundry duties #volunteerforlaundrydutyearlyon
3. La Trobe’s niggling lippy set piece Joffrey Baratheon bumfluff beard style of football getting into our head and up our skirt and putting us off our own game
4. Gluten-free Crust pizzas at Clinchy’s joint afterwards
5. Scooba and Reidy continuing to suffer hamstring problems and Jules O’Dowd getting roped in to a bucks in Amsterdam on the weekend of the GF