Melbourne High School is the jewel in the crown of the Victorian public school system.

It consistently outranks top private schools in VCE results. The quaint oval beneath the Stalinist building atop Forrest Hill is tended by the MCG curator team.

Notable alumni include Gareth Evans, Mark Dreyfus, Simon Crean, Keith Miller, David Parkin, Lindsay Fox, George Megalogenis, John Faine, I could go on.

But being good at life doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll succeed in Clubbies football. When all was said and done, MHSOB were unable to translate classroom and societal brilliance into on field success.

It is against this backdrop that this week’s instalment of 5 Best 5 Worst unfolds.

5 Best

1. The Good Guys from NOBS registering a fitting win in honour of the late Des Joyce, father of 2013 Coach Simon and brothers Damien and Martin. Our thoughts are with you mate #can’traisesonslikethatunlessyou’reatopbloke
2. Manisha Karunaratne, arguably the most underrated player in the league, playing an absolute blinder on the spectators wing
3. The bantamweight duo, Tommy Clarke and Slacky, redefining accountable football and showing plenty of run off the back flank, if you don’t mind.
4. Lucky 7 Toddy McLeod showing commendable restraint and discretion in the editing studio, making it through a whole game without getting pinged for holding the ball, getting promoted at work, delivering good pump up speeches and dobbing some important steadying goals
5. The facilities provided by the unicorns – the rooms were spacious and comfortable and the showers were nice and warm and the porcelain soap holders were not chipped away.

5 Worst

1. MHSOB kicking the first three goals of the 2nd half fuelling opinion amongst the VAFA commentariat that we are prone to complacency and/or not good enough to bury sides.
2. Travers ‘The Contrasting Man – DPhil Oxon / Canberra Raiders’ McLeod getting pinged by an unusually officious umpire for stepping over the square on a kick out
3. Mad Matty Bond the in-and-under from the Mallee pulling a hammy just before half time #shouldahadadurryatquartertime
4. The Daily Telegraph pointing out that our mid-season injury list is growing longer than the number of disability pension recipients / WW2 wounded:
   • JD (1-2 weeks)
   • Hamish Christie (3-4 weeks)
   • Stephen Clinch (4 weeks)
   • Fog (2 weeks – good goal umpiring)
   • Benny O (1 week)
   • Matt Reid (1-3 weeks)
   • Ed Kus (4 weeks – but has been seen running to work)
   • Cam Jones (unknown)
   • Fr Ives (4 weeks – gangrene / golden staff)
   • Euan Pickett (2 weeks)
   • Rob Anderson (1-2 weeks)
   • Bayles (2-6 weeks)
   • Tim Wright (season)
   • Sean Sammon (season – we’ll never really know who good this kid was / is)
5. The virgin goal still eluding Krackers and UHS-VU putting on more points than us against LaTrobe (6.3 – 39) – VAFA Results Page