Welcome to the first edition of ‘5 Best 5 Worst’ for season 2015.

The idea is copied from the Parliamentary sitting week summaries of The Hon. Tony Burke, member for Watson.

5 Best

1. Promising starts by combine* debutants including:
   1. Will ‘Boy Wonder’ Brouwers – A dashing utility who likes it body on body. Along with Anthony ‘McDreamy’ Brennan, this is the bloke your girlfriend will actually be watching.
2. John ‘VCAT’ Glossop dishing out early season sprays to set expectations and uphold standards, most notably to Steve ‘Full Back For Lyfe’ Clinch for being a lazy water boy and to the playing group as a whole for showing a lack of imagination with regard to nick names. A dishonourable mention must go to Todd ‘Handball’ Macleod for proposing several unpopular and inaccurate monikers for himself from afar including The Great One, Ablett, The Rig and Mr Consistency.
3. Tim ‘Aide de Camp’ Mayfield racking up 30+ touches on a wing after putting in a solid pre-season by clubbies standards.
4. Daniel ‘Kracker’ Kratochvil getting off to a flyer in the B&F and goal kicking race in absentia
5. Wrighty sort of making it through a game without injuring himself #notallstkevsboysaresoft

5 Worst

1. Losing to ‘the socks’, a combine* of chardonnay socialist hipsters masquerading as amateur footballers #maintaintherage
2. Hearing the international dial tone when attempting to call Trav ‘Dr Manhattan’ McLeod on Friday night
3. The long list of omissions on Saturday: Frew Dog runs all day, The Human Flight Simulator Fog, Todd ‘Pork Sword’ Macleod, Travers ‘Rule of Law’ McLeod, 2014 B&F Brenton ‘2nd Best Rig’ Lawty
4. Not knowing if / when we’ll get to sing ‘out we come to play’ in Div 1 #EADoldxavs
5. Jake or Darcy (not sure who it was) letting a head high floater through to the keeper to gift La Trobe’s heavy-set full forward his fifth for the afternoon #brainfart

* A combination of persons or groups for the furtherance of their political, commercial, or other interests