With spirits still high from the reserves flag the day before, the reverse raffle hosted by Robert Sheehan has produced another memorable finish. Dave Ronan shared in the spoils and this is his story.

The Moneybags Consortium

The day started with 150 tickets a chance at the $5k prize. Sipping quietly on a beer in the corner was a group of players. Some called us a syndicate, others a bunch of youngsters drunk on the sweet taste of a premiership (and alcohol…), but the reality was we were a Consortium. The Moneybags Consortium.

100 tickets remaining

Self-appointed premiership captain and treasurer Brendan Sheehan announced three unsold tickets would be raffled at fifty to go. Sitting in a dark corner reading the fin review, five well dressed businessmen decided the market was hot and now was our time to strike. The original members were our brilliant leader in Damian ‘Moneybags” Poulter (weasel), Chris Horsley, Tommy ‘the maid’ Alsop, Jem Newland, premiership CHF David Ronan and everyone’s favourite number 69, Joel Scanlon.

Pooling our resources we realised that the previous night had hit our wallets hard and $150 between us would be our limit. We were in further trouble when Mr69 went for a quick piss (watched a band at the Grandview for an hour or so). So down to 5 members and around 120 dollars, our consortium was outbid for the first two tickets despite the brilliant early and strong bidding tactics from Poulter which ensured him the nickname Moneybags.

On the third and final ticket the situation was grim, some old money (editor- Ronny Holmberg) at the back of the room had pushed the total above the 130 dollar mark and we had met our match. We were out. Then, by some twist of fate almost as crucial as the Weiderman’s staged free kick in the goal square, a tall banker looked at us from across the room, and with barely a raised eyebrow we had a financial backer. Simon Harwood had joined the consortium. Poulter powefully outbid our more experienced opponents and ticket number 146 had been purchased.

50 Tickets remaining

With a similar amount of tickets remaining to beers drunk between the six of us our small minds already deduced that we were as good as a sure thing. Moneybags Poulter was heard weighing up if he really needed his apprenticeship anymore, Horsely thinking a long term low yield account was the way to go, whilst glamour boy Newland was grappling with the idea of hiring a Hummer for the long boring trip to the Grandview.

25 tickets to go

Scanlon returned from the local hotel angry we hadn’t included him in the ticket, even though admitting if we had been drawn out he wouldn’t have contributed.

20 tickets to go

The six of us could have been forgiven for thinking Fordy’s sister was amongst us, the way Filthy Phil Doolan began hanging around like a bad smell, assuring us we would need his financial advice when we won. For a moderate fee of course.

10 Tickets to go

140 tickets into the draw and coach Rushy had finally finished telling everyone at the club rooms about his masterstroke of Punton starting up forward with 3 shots on goal in the first 5 minutes. (Possibly while wearing his coach jacket) Looking up at the raffle for the first time he realised a few of his impressionable young bucks were still in the draw and he rushed over looking for his piece of the pie.

5 tickets to go

For the first time in many a financial year, a few of the consortium began to feel a few butterflies. Didn’t matter, by this stage there was more than enough groupies fighting over who would grab us a jug of the amber liquid to calm the nerves. With only 2 of the 5 tickets remaining present at the club things had hotted up and some early talk of dealing emerged…

3 tickets left

Still two of the live tickets present at the rooms. Some heavy handed dealing tactics from the other live ticket, and the fact we were splitting between the six of us meant we unaunimously knocked back the early offer of a 3,1,1 split.

2 tickets to go

Knocking back the previous offer proved a masterstroke as we were still alive, although now the group was divided.

Harwood (aka the voice of reason) had done the math on the 3,2 split being offered to us and was all for it. A couple of the more headstrong members (Poulter and Alsop) were quite prepared to roll the dice, while the remaining members would have been satisfied with a token effort to deal over the phone.

Our brainy PwC accountant Phil Doolan was also strongly pushing the all out option.

The 3.2 split left us with a minimum of $330 which was a good enough return on our initial $23 investment for sanity to prevail and a deal was cut.

The Final Draw

In a disappointing display of honesty from the club, no effort was made to ensure the live ticket present at the club was the winner, and the consortium was pulled out, pocketing $330 a piece. A very tidy sum for members involved.

The winner was former player and vice-president Shane McGrath who pocketed three gees for a lazy Sunday afternoon of no work.

Stay tuned for how the consortium spent their dough.